I now understand what people mean when they say that they are a renewed person in Christ.

Here's my story for you guys :]

I'm not proud of this year. In the least. Or last year for that matter. Here's to sum it all up:

Sophomore year I got involved with a guy who introduced me into drinking and drugs. Yeah. It's pretty hard for me to admit but he didn't force me into it. I made that decision by myself. Although i can say that I felt that I needed his accceptance by using. I ended up dumping him over the summer before it got too far [I had enough sense in me to do that]

Junior year, even though i didn't have "the boyfriend", i got involved in a different way. Friends. I got more into the partying scene. I stopped the drugs altogether though. That was a good thing. But it got pretty bad. On the night of Spring Tolo, I got caught by the cops for drinking and I got charged with an MIC [Minor in consumption] I'm getting it deferred and I went though community service and counseling. That was a pretty hard time for me but i guess that was God's GIANT SLAP TO THE FACE. I believe that the night i got caught, sitting in that car with a flashlight to my face .... That was the lowest I've ever been. After that though, i went to a couple church events. ATF for one.

ATF taught me that you can't just float by as a Christian, you have to act. You have to work. After i got home from Acquire the Fire ... well .. on fire. I picked up my Oswald Chambers [My Utmost for His Highest] and did a devotion. The very first one i opened to. It taught me that you can't wait for spiritual highs, they are a special gift from God. But really, you have to find him in your everyday life. You need to want to find him, then he will reveal himself to you. I always just asked him to do the work for me and i just sat there waiting to be blessed with all he had. That's not the case.

Right now? The place I'm at is complete peace. I just got back form CFFC [Chinese Family For Christ] and i met some amazing people and learned some pretty important lessons. Things like ... How we shouldn't make a way for ourselves in this life. We shouldn't find significance in anything other than God. Ah ... Right now i'm really happy. God kicked my butt around 360. He is just SO FREAKING AWESOME IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! God is so great. The story that i can really relate to right now in my life is the Parable of the Prodigal Son. [Luke 15: 11-32] I understand how the son felt now. So loved and still so confused at the same time how a father could love so much that despite how far he'd gone and what he's done that the father could accept him back into his life in a harbeat.

I hope I never go back to who I was but that I continue on my journey stronger than ever.